sadness

It happened out of my expectations
shocked
that night was a lil bit different from usual
i set my alarm in my hp
and this time i didnt placed it on my study table
but on the bed
3rd of March,3a.m. early in the morning,
i woke up because something distracted me
it was my hp in vibrating mode and my cousin sophia was calling.
i was lucky that i forget to switch it from vibrating mode to normal mode after back from library
it could had disturb others in the late night
there's butterflies in my stomach when i saw her calling
and i keep thinking for reasons why she's calling at this time...
maybe she called the wrong person? she's drunk? she's crazy?she's... i could think further...because i was scared
i sensed something which could be bad.....
and i denied her call
and also because the complete silence in the room,
i dont dare to made a bit of noise.
the feeling was even weird when i saw that it was not the 1st call, but she'd called me twice
so i woke up and walked out of the room to call her back
the line was busy
and just in a few minutes
i received the text form Barry
telling me that "a gong had passed away"
the thing that i dont wish to see appeared in front of my blurry eyes,
i couldnt believe my eyes
and i called a him and my cousin to confirm it, and i am so eager to know the truth
how could it be? how could it be?
there's not even a lil bit of sign i could get when i saw him back in sibu 2 weeks ago
he still looks same as before
and he's still welcoming us back with his happy heart which i could saw in his smiling eyes....
i couldnt believe
they told me that he fell down and admitted hospital for just a few days
and it was just like a sudden
he was not with us anymore
i couldnt imagine all these without seeing it through my own eyes
and i couldnt sleep even i tried so hard to
so i decided to woke up and study for  next week's exam
finally i waited until 4am and i called my dad to ask about it
and i just knew that he was already in the hospital with other relatives and cousins,
i didnt know they all went back at the night before,
i knew everyone were sad
i am sad too
but i can do nothing
i wanted to go back for his funeral, to see hin for the last time,
but exams, assignments, reports are too loaded
i couldnt even spare a lil it of time for myself,
till now
i still couldnt believe it
i remember that i was still thinking like at least we can see him many more years during chinese new year because he still looks good only that his leg is weak,
this was too unexpected
God had decided everything, and get him back,
But i am glad that at least he was still with us during this year's cny,
and i knew it will be different next year....
To my A gong, May you rest in peace.